Calm

While reading about the attack at the Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania, a detail caught my attention.  This is from the New York Times,* October 5th:

Lil Nissley, whose daughters had been playmates with one of the victims, said she was at the farm where those fleeing the schoolhouse - the male students and the adult women - had taken refuge.  "Any outsider would have said, what's wrong with these calm people?" she said.  "I mean, we were crying, we were praying, but we weren't hysterical."

But Ms. Nissley and her husband, David, who are not Amish, said the composure was a matter of culture and training, not suppression.  "Their blood runs red," Mr. Nissley said.

This couple is apparently addressing a comment or criticism that was made about the Amish, but not mentioned in the article.  The comment must have been about the apparent lack of emotion expressed by the community, a lack that must have seemed a flaw in Amish character:  perhaps the Amish were emotionally cold, the effect of isolation or of a cult-like element in their religion.

The response deserves attention.  The Amish do not lack emotion, of course; "their blood runs red."  But their calm is the result "of culture and training, not suppression."  In other words, calm is a refined skill, and does not indicate a lack of something.  If you practice calm, you should expect calm as a general response to life.

Conversely, if you practice hysteria, panic, and emotionality, don't be surprised if you have hysterical, panicked, and overly emotional responses to everything.  You can't simply add a little calm on top of this and expect it to work.  And overly emotional responses, however satisfying as drama, are not the same thing as healthy emotion.

BC

* link here, subscription needed to view entire article.
Here's a lovely and sympathetic take on the Amish response to the attack.